The power of yes!

'There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." Aldous Huxley

Welcome to Inner Alchemist. What's in the name?  The medieval alchemists, as they performed their experiments to transmute metal into gold, also believed that in the process they were working on refining themselves. Becoming inner alchemists means putting the focus first on the inner, rather than the outer product, and concerning ourselves with taking the base elements in life- our own doubts and fears and the challenges that life throws us- and turning those into treasure.  

As an old saying goes, change yourself- change the world. The transformation of our planet seems overwhelming with global warming, economic crises and a multitude of other ills. What can just one person do? Some would say the renovation job is beyond our capability- that the world is condemned- soon not fit for habitation. I contend it is both our privelege and responsibility to lay the foundation stones by each of us making the changes first in ourselves, moving from fear to faith, lies to love, anger to acceptance and appreciation, impotence to initiative. Becoming an inner alchemist also means you become an outer one. It's both that hard and that simple.

Here, you'll find real tools for doing so through future stories, exercises, inspiring free courses and videos.

I'd like to begin this first post with a personal story. Recently my sister gave me two gifts for my birthday. One, a decadent flourless chocolate cake, the other the Flat Belly Diet book. Yes, my sister really does love me even if the presents seem to destine me to deep ambivalence. Both were much appreciated, though the first was easier to digest. But the latter came in handy too, since reaching mid-age, I now am wrestling with a stubborn bulge in the middle. Though I eat pretty well, practice yoga and am fairly active, I thought that was enough. After reading, I made some dietary changes and committed to a daily brisk walk.

Yesterday I put in a real vigorous walk and then walked lots more during errands. So when my friend K. called me that evening to join her on a walk, I almost said no. I had to push myself to say yes.

It was a beautiful night, full moon. When we got to the promenade near my house which has spectacular views of the city, we ran into a mutual girlfriend, Z. Z was talking to her friend, A., and from the looks of it, pretty frustrated and angry with him. She explained that the %*^&^* fellow had just gotten himself kicked out of rehab after she had gone to a lot of trouble to find and get him into the right program. Z. further mentioned that many very wonderful people had gone way out on a limb for him. She had to be somewhere else so asked if the two of us would talk some sense into A. It would have been easy to say no. But for some reason, I said yes. I asked him why so many special people seemed to care about him and wanted to help him. He said he'd asked himself the same question and had no answer. He couldn't figure it out.

Z. shared her daughter's story of how she had been kicked out of rehab a number of times, but finally stuck with it and got clean. Z. urged him to do whatever it took to get back into the program, begging if necessary. A. said he was embarrassed to do so. I asked him why he wasn't embarrassed to take advantage of the time and effort so many people invested in him. I asked him if he believed in a higher source, God, whatever he wanted to call it. He said he did. I asked him why he wasn't embarrassed to mess with the gift he'd been given of his own life. None of this seemed to move him. He was quite expert at evading responsibility, commitment. Most addicts are. Then I asked him if I could ask one last question. He agreed.

I whispered this into his ear. Why do so many terrific people seemed to care so deeply about you? Could it be that you actually deserve their love? That you really deserve to be loved?

He got very quiet. Then he looked directly into my eyes and said, “Now THAT really makes me want to do something and change.”

When I looked back at him, I saw a part of myself. The part that feels unworthy and unloved. The part that feels neglected and marginalized. The part of me that feels that I don't have the power to change.

Today is A.'s birthday. I wish you well. I wish you healing. I have no idea whether you will choose that change. I hope my question to you will help. But I know your answer changed me, helped me to feel a bit more loving and lovable. And to think it all started by my pushing myself to say yes. Isn't it amazing what the universe can orchestrate, a full moon, a beautiful night, a transforming rendezvous with friends and strangers, when we dare to say yes?