The Five Minute Challenge

Most people think it takes a long time to change or to get something done. But it doesn't have to.

Sometimes, when I am really not in the mood to work on something, one of the ways I get through it is to spend just five minutes on the task. That's why I dared myself to spend just five minutes writing this post. It's remarkable what you can get accomplished when you know your time is limited.

My friend Margalit Jakob, who originally gave me this idea, began practicing violin for just five minutes a day. Now she plays in a community orchestra. I know someone else who hates housework and spends again, just five minutes a day on cleaning tasks. She claims that she packs an awful lot of work into those five minutes because she is so focused. The five minute challenge can be applied to those things we don't want to do or don't think we'll be able to do. By setting boundaries around the task at hand the tough becomes tolerable and the impossible, possible. And sometimes, by setting the five minute clock, time miraculously expands and we end up so engrossed in what we've started that we just keep going....

In our information dense, technology packed world, time is rapidly approaching the value of gold or even diamonds. For some of us, five minutes of this precious commodity holds the opposite promise and challenge- how to slow down and be present. I don't particularly like hang ing out laundry, but I recall fondly once such occasion that I was fully present as I hung each article of clothing, feeling the dampness and texture of the fabric, the movements of my fingers opening and closing the clothes pins, the sound of the clothes line as I moved it forward. That five minutes brought me as close to bliss as any household chore I can remember doing.

So, pick something you want to do or dream of doing but think it's impossible, and spend a little bit of time every day on that. Spend as well, five minute increments as often as you can throughout the day, practicing being present to whatever you are doing- whether it is taking a break or facing some boring, or distasteful or challenging task. Somewhere I once read that if a sailor changes his course just one degree, within 6 months he'd be a whole hemisphere away from his original destination. I have no idea if it's true, but it's a good metaphor for change. One degree or five minutes of being fully engaged. Feel free to post me a message on what five minute challenge you have chosen. Then later, write again and let me know where you are six months down the road...

dirty little secrets

Dirty little secrets. We all have them. Some we may never choose to tell. But sometimes it can be cathartic to share. So here goes....

The real story behind writing my first blog post. Imagine a horror music score playing in the background.

How long did it take me to write yesterday's post? At least an hour, maybe two. How many times did I lose the entire post that I finally published yesterday? Twice. Once is understandable, maybe. Twice is stupid. Especially if you've been warned to do something simple and basic by your tech savvy child, if you're lucky enough to have one of those. I do. And I didn't listen. If I had only done the smart thing and first written it as a word document and saved it. But no, I had to write directly on the blog...

Dirtly little secret #1. Sometimes I convince myself I know what I'm doing when I really don't have a clue.
Dirty little secret #2. I'm technologically challenged in a major way.
Dirty little secret #3. Sometimes I don't listen to perfectly reasonable advice because... see dirty little secret #1.

I feel so relieved to get that off my chest. I am writing this post first on a word document. Now I've earned some bragging rights.

I've come a long way, baby. As a kid, I started lots of things. I was the great beginner. I never finished most of my projects. When frustrated or upset, I actually banged my head against the wall, or so my mother tells me. I must have damaged the links in the brain to those memories via the head banging. With some maturity I learned the qualities of faith and patience, which I'm still working hard to refine and further develop. For proof, read on...

I was majorly upset when I lost the first post attempt. I cursed. I got incredibly annoyed, but then I sat down and rewrote the whole thing. The second time, I really almost lost it. Especially when the International Critics Choir started singing. You've heard them perform before, right? They're a top notch group. Some of their hits are “You're Such an Idiot,” “Who Told You You Could Do This?,” “Forget the Whole Idea- You Don't Have What it Takes,” and “Go Bang Your Head Against the Wall.”

After a major pout where I almost reverted and followed the instructions in the last song title, I sat down yet again to reconstruct what I wrote. And I think it was better. Yes, I'm proud. I stuck with it. I was determined to get that blog started, despite dirtly little secret #2. Practice doesn't make perfect, ( I am anti-perfectionism, such a waste of time) but it makes for much improved.

To do anything worthwhile, you need a very healthy dose of perserverance. Tons of folks give up after the first obstacle or challenge. More give up after the next couple. A few really fine folks give up just when they are about to succeed. If they only knew they were 83% or 97% of the way there. Yet one of the hardest things is that we often don't know when we are so so close to the goal.

So restart something today that you have given up on. I dare you. You may be closer than you think. And even if you have a long long way to go, you can learn from and be inspired by some of the world masters.

Check out these links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0DRk8dFjI

The power of yes!

'There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." Aldous Huxley

Welcome to Inner Alchemist. What's in the name?  The medieval alchemists, as they performed their experiments to transmute metal into gold, also believed that in the process they were working on refining themselves. Becoming inner alchemists means putting the focus first on the inner, rather than the outer product, and concerning ourselves with taking the base elements in life- our own doubts and fears and the challenges that life throws us- and turning those into treasure.  

As an old saying goes, change yourself- change the world. The transformation of our planet seems overwhelming with global warming, economic crises and a multitude of other ills. What can just one person do? Some would say the renovation job is beyond our capability- that the world is condemned- soon not fit for habitation. I contend it is both our privelege and responsibility to lay the foundation stones by each of us making the changes first in ourselves, moving from fear to faith, lies to love, anger to acceptance and appreciation, impotence to initiative. Becoming an inner alchemist also means you become an outer one. It's both that hard and that simple.

Here, you'll find real tools for doing so through future stories, exercises, inspiring free courses and videos.

I'd like to begin this first post with a personal story. Recently my sister gave me two gifts for my birthday. One, a decadent flourless chocolate cake, the other the Flat Belly Diet book. Yes, my sister really does love me even if the presents seem to destine me to deep ambivalence. Both were much appreciated, though the first was easier to digest. But the latter came in handy too, since reaching mid-age, I now am wrestling with a stubborn bulge in the middle. Though I eat pretty well, practice yoga and am fairly active, I thought that was enough. After reading, I made some dietary changes and committed to a daily brisk walk.

Yesterday I put in a real vigorous walk and then walked lots more during errands. So when my friend K. called me that evening to join her on a walk, I almost said no. I had to push myself to say yes.

It was a beautiful night, full moon. When we got to the promenade near my house which has spectacular views of the city, we ran into a mutual girlfriend, Z. Z was talking to her friend, A., and from the looks of it, pretty frustrated and angry with him. She explained that the %*^&^* fellow had just gotten himself kicked out of rehab after she had gone to a lot of trouble to find and get him into the right program. Z. further mentioned that many very wonderful people had gone way out on a limb for him. She had to be somewhere else so asked if the two of us would talk some sense into A. It would have been easy to say no. But for some reason, I said yes. I asked him why so many special people seemed to care about him and wanted to help him. He said he'd asked himself the same question and had no answer. He couldn't figure it out.

Z. shared her daughter's story of how she had been kicked out of rehab a number of times, but finally stuck with it and got clean. Z. urged him to do whatever it took to get back into the program, begging if necessary. A. said he was embarrassed to do so. I asked him why he wasn't embarrassed to take advantage of the time and effort so many people invested in him. I asked him if he believed in a higher source, God, whatever he wanted to call it. He said he did. I asked him why he wasn't embarrassed to mess with the gift he'd been given of his own life. None of this seemed to move him. He was quite expert at evading responsibility, commitment. Most addicts are. Then I asked him if I could ask one last question. He agreed.

I whispered this into his ear. Why do so many terrific people seemed to care so deeply about you? Could it be that you actually deserve their love? That you really deserve to be loved?

He got very quiet. Then he looked directly into my eyes and said, “Now THAT really makes me want to do something and change.”

When I looked back at him, I saw a part of myself. The part that feels unworthy and unloved. The part that feels neglected and marginalized. The part of me that feels that I don't have the power to change.

Today is A.'s birthday. I wish you well. I wish you healing. I have no idea whether you will choose that change. I hope my question to you will help. But I know your answer changed me, helped me to feel a bit more loving and lovable. And to think it all started by my pushing myself to say yes. Isn't it amazing what the universe can orchestrate, a full moon, a beautiful night, a transforming rendezvous with friends and strangers, when we dare to say yes?